When it comes time for goodbyes
i feel I must state them clearly
maybe because i hate them so much
or maybe because
i rarely have to truly say them

but as for that, here goes...

i remember it clearly
she was in that pink dress
and you were on her arm
you two made out at the table
right before i left
thats my first memory of you
i left without a second thought

time flew by and as me and the girl
in that pink dress became friends,
we did too. close friends.
i don't remember the moment
but i do remember realizing things
were changing
and that maybe, just maybe
we were exactly just friends

how did things change so quickly
and you and me end up in limbo
then came late nights
secrets shared and truths told
that little blue rav4 and my heart
found themselves broken into

even now theres so much i want to say
to you just between us
but theres no longer a just between us
as the voicemail i got friday announced

maybe too many secrets flew apart
that night under the blankets
or between those 5 carnation grams

i loved you once but i cant anymore
because afterawhile it started to hurt
every part of my life, my heart

when did everything happen
that late june night
when we decided things couldnt happen
or july 11 when 7 11 took on meaning
beyond just a gas station
or when she became jealous enough
to fight what we had
and win.

what did we have anyway
a friendship or more
you never answered that question
or many of the others i asked

each text message that went unanswered
was a knife through my heart
im amazed i never bled to death
but those late night talks
repaired each wound that you made

but between those summery nights
i fell in love with you
or maybe it was just obsession
i dont know
rather not ruin the expierence

but you did.
with a text message
the same way everything began
and i couldnt let go
until she made you walk away

and i felt like i had lost everything.

but we had made it through
all the truths and lies
even the drama
to work out the mess until
we could hold on

but i got tired of listening
to everyone talk about you
nothing ever good
and youre every absence angered us
you thought you were everything

so i decided to tell you the truth
like you had asked me so long ago
but all that got me was anger

the funny thing i find is that everyone
hates you as much as they love you

maybe its your manipulation
or that pretty gay smile of yours
or all the lies or the fact that you have
two faces for every event

but they love you and no one is allowed
to touch that pretty head of yours
go figure

maybe if they all saw
what i did. what i do.
because i see both sides.
the you that you want to be
and who you present yourself as

ive watched your mistakes
your goals fall aside
and your values change
everything you've worked for
slip away between your fingers

you changed. and i know you dont know
who you are anymore. you're just trying
to find what makes you happy.
and i think you find that you still arent
when its just you all by yourself

so i spoke up. and i told you
almost everything that you didnt want
to hear. and it hurt you.
but you said what i knew you would...
truth hurts, at least you told me.

because thats what friends do.
but im not your friend anymore
i grew tired of being your doormat
your ice cream man
and the last link to your past
because i saw through you

i don't care anymore
or at least im trying.
because when i spoke up
in a last attempt to help you
everyone grew to hate me
told me that i was a bitch
and that i needed to grow up
so be it.

ill close my life off.
hold true to the roots im trying to find
once more who i am inside
i'll succeed. and I hope you listened.
because this is my last hoo-rah
my farewell to us.

because aside from those few good moments
you made me cry. and you hurt me.
even when everything was finished
i still cared. but im not going to anymore

you're not worth my trouble
you  never listen anyway
go be gods gift to the world
its what you do best

while me. ill move on. and regret the way
everything ended. because you chose
the way it would work out. and i chose
to finally walk away, like i should have
so long ago on that simmering august day
instead of hanging on for almost two years

goodbye my almost lover
goodbye my dear friend
goodbye my past
goodbye jordan,
i'll say goodbye to isabella for you.
if you even remember who she was.

hoo-rah